Limitations

I watched the Olympics last evening and saw a theme repeat itself several times over; it was hard to ignore. The predicted "favorite" fell short of expectations in several events and an athlete that was unexpected to "place" in the medals (Bronze Silver, or Gold) went on to victory. I felt sad for the athletes who had trained so hard and so long who because of their own human error, Fate, or Divine Intervention went on to defeat. THEN, I got it! It's like that for all of us. We are only defeated if we believe ourselves to be defeated. It's more about the place in our heads, hearts, and bodies from where we started our individual "race" and where we ultimately finish the "race" that really matters. Did we come the distance and give it our full efforts in the process? Some of them did it with great dignity, and I fully admired that and others ended with despair...and I felt "sorry" for them. Our individual sporting event is LIFE! And similar to the athletes in the Olympic Games we often are disappointed, dicouraged, and defeated. However, the outcome of each race and LIFE can be handled with dignity...or despair. We can be either admired or pitied. It's pretty clear which is the better choice. sue

GIVING

I LIKE TO GIVE. Giving of myself in any fashion makes me feel good and the recipient(s) benefit too. It is a win:win situation for all. I'm not a saint, I do know that, but rather I see it more like a healing technique that I've learned over the years to help myself heal from my own hurtful past. Then, it just became a really good habit that I've continued for many years. We don't often look at it that way. You know..."giving" as medicine, but it really is. I know many give in church or to a special organization in financial ways. That is truely wonderful. BUT, what I'm proposing is that we can also give in small ways each and every day and they are not always financial gifts. Sometimes, what I give is "time." Sometimes, it's my "help." Sometimes it actually is financial help...but to a total stranger. In today's society, everyone welcomes that kind of gift and it is usually much needed. And, as anyone who knows me will tell you...I always give my advice. (I let out a loud roar as I wrote that because it is so true!) But my favorite gifts are gifts that noone knows about... but the "giver." Sometimes, it's as simple as pulling someone's garbage can back up their driveway or picking up the mis-thrown newspaper and putting it by their neighbor's door. Perhaps, grabbing a garbage bag and collecting trash in a much used area of your neighborhood. Other times, it's taking not only your own shopping cart back to the store, but a few others too or picking up that garment or product that's on the store's floor, that keeps getting either stepped on... or over. These are random acts of kindness. We do them not for the "thanks" that normally follows each of us doing something nice; we do them because they make the world a better place for others. However, what I guarantee is that IF you choose to be a giver, it will be you who is receiving the greatest gift. You have my word. sue

HURT

I read something really negative and hurtful about myself, on line, not too long ago. It was "disguised" as a "review" of my book, SPIRIT UNBROKEN, but it was really addressed at me...or was it? It didn't seem as if they had even read the book; it was more a case of just wanting to be negative. Or...did they read it and it struck a chord? Were they in discomfort because they had also been abused and were not doing so well...still... or were they even in denial...still. Or worse yet, were they an abuser themselves? The statistics of those who have been abused as children going on to abuse others is astounding. I discuss that too in the book; they are sad statistics, but true.
It was clear to me, later that day...because I did think about it, that the person who wrote these hateful and nasty words was not very happy in their own being and for some reason needed to hurt others. Today, it was directed at me and maybe a few others too. There is no "egotistical" writing about Childhood Abuse. The is no "delusional" for anyone who has been abused...even once! The writing is straight forward and candid. That might be a source of discomfort for some. Sometimes, that happens with the truth.
Child Abuse is everywhere in our country...it can't be kept a secret any longer. So, I stepped forward and wrote a book about it and yesterday, took one on the chin. But, I realized I didn't have to have everyone agree with me or even like what I wrote. What was important was that I was speaking up. Finally. It is a really fine book; I hope it touches and helps each person, in some way, who reads it.
As Abused Children...we are here, we are everywhere. At no time is it ever ok to pass along the hurt that you yourself are experiencing. Abuse, be it sexual, emotional, or verbal is never ok... when passed along to hurt another. The relief you feel is momentary and the long term consequences...unhealthy and damning. Take the higher ground when dealing with others. We always have that choice. We do not feel better as humans by hurting, trashing, or ABUSING... someone else.