It is often difficult to think about talking or writing to others in a purely "self-less" context.
We often have our own agenda when we interact with someone on the phone, by writing, or even in person. Questions of our own interest and intent often get in the way of a more honest and realistic interaction. It is easy to forget that when we deal with someone, one-on-one, we might be doing so not only for ourselves, but for someone else as well. Often we are not only a necessary link in communication with that person, but the only link. If this is the case, we need to be a strong connection, not a weak one.
Also, make a point of "telling" someone something...only if they will feel better from the new information being offered to them. Do not tell someone a bit of information to make yourself feel better! That's the opposite of "self-less." You might feel "unburdened" but it is only because you have now loaded them down with the negativity and hurt. Today, ask someone something personal about themselves; this will make them feel as if they are more than a colleague, neighbor, or even a taken for granted relative. It will make them realize that they matter... to you... in more than their "designated" role.
It's just a wonderful practice to really follow the Biblical wisdom of: Treat/speak to people as you would want others to speak/treat you. If we don't like something done/said in our own lives; it's our choice to make the effort to change ...or not. We are never defined by negative actions directed toward us; we are what we choose for ourselves. I really like that choice.
Order the book: SPIRIT UNBROKEN A Journey of Hope, Survival, and Beating the Odds of Child Abuse.
All proceeds go to Childhood Abuse organizations.
We have been speaking, the past few months, against the atrocities of the defenseless children of so many foreign countries in the Middle East, Africa, et al.
The reality is that in our own country, America, we continue to have our own issues of Child Abuse. Why are we not as focused on this?
Can we cure our own issues of Abuse... in addition to other nations, as well?
Why has this never been included in any United States candidate's platform for political office? It's something we keep choosing to ignore because it is uncomfortable and embarrassing to acknowledge.
Come on America... SPEAK UP!
STAGGERING STATISTICS
Almost 40 million people living in the United States today are survivors of childhood sexual abuse.
Since research has shown that almost 1/3 of people having been sexually abused never disclose this experience to anyone, the actual number of victims must be considerably higher than the given statistics.
Therefore, logically, it’s closer to 60 million survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse in the United States and The District of Columbia, today.
1 in 4 girls are sexually abused before their fourteenth birthday!
1 in 6 boys are sexually abused before their sixteenth birthday!
The median age for reported abuse is nine years old.
90% of all victims know their perpetrators.
Nearly 70% of child sex offenders have more than one victim.
70% of child sex offenders victimize between 1 and 9 children. Almost one quarter of them victimized 10 to 40 victims.
Girl survivors of sexual abuse are three times more likely to develop alcohol and drug abuse or psychiatric problems in adulthood, than girls who have not experienced sexual abuse.
Boy survivors of sexual abuse had a greater than an 80% chance of substance abuse, 50% had suicidal inclinations, and 23% actually attempted to take their own life. 70% received psychological treatment. 31% victimized others!
70-80% of sexual abuse survivors report excessive drug and alcohol abuse.
40% of all childhood sexual survivors suffer long-term effects that require therapy.
Although these statistics are real, they can be changed. The abuse stops with us. We need not pass the dysfunction forward to yet, another generation.
No one gives us self- esteem; we must choose it for ourselves. By succumbing to substance abuse of any kind or abusing others we perpetuate the cycle. We add to the statistics and our abuser(s) are the victors. We can make that healthy and positive choice for ourselves.
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GOOGLE: Life Coach Blog Winner 2016, 2017
POSITIVE LIFE BLOG "One of the Best on the Internet" 2017
LIFE LESSONS that WE KEEP ON Learning
There are so many great lessons we all learn from life. I made a list with some of the most important ones so far, foe me: lessons that had a great impact in my life.
1. We get treated in life the way we teach others to treat us.
You have no idea how true this is. It was us who allowed THEM at one point to start treating us the way they do and little by little we got into the mess we are right now, having to live with the consequences. Respect and love yourself and others will do the same.
2. There are no mistakes, only lessons we need to master.
The idea is for us to learn from everything and everyone, of course, if you want to, and if you don’t, well, your life will look at 40 the same way it did when you were 20 and at 60 the way it looked when you were 40, and so on.
3. Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself.
A lot of people think that the moment they decide to forgive somebody who once hurt them, the person who receives the forgiveness is the only one who will benefit from this kind gesture, but that’s not the case. I can tell you that the person who will benefit the most is the person who does the forgiving. Holding onto anger and resentment can do you no good; it’s like having a clenched fist 24/7.
4. What you resist persists and what you focus on expands.
We’re resisting change, we’re resisting our problems, resisting the weather, resisting our friends and family, resisting our responsibilities, our job, our boss… our lives. There are so many things we are resisting, not realizing that resistance will only make things worse. Carl Jung talks about this, warning us that what we resist not only will persist but will also grow in size.
5. Life is all about the journey and less about the destination.
A lot of times we get so caught up in what we want to achieve, that perfect picture, that end result, that we forget to live and to really enjoy this journey called life. Now,you may want to take a deep cleansing breath, and allow yourself to be present in everything you do. Allow yourself to enjoy each second of your life; to observe the world around you; to observe the people that are present in your life and the beauty that is present within you and all around you, life in general.
6. People deserve a second chance.
The moment you forgive somebody, chances are that you will also give them a second chance, a chance to be near you, without trying to remind them of what they did to you, treating them not as they are, or as they once were, but rather as you want them to be. By doing this, you are also allowing them to grow and to become better and better every day. Your ego might tell you to “let these people go” but what does your heart tell you? We are all humans, we all make mistakes, and we all deserve a second chance, and why not, maybe a third and a forth, a sixth and a seventh…
7. If you don’t believe in yourself, nobody will.
Don’t expect others to see gold where you can only see dust. If you don’t believe in yourself, if you don’t believe that you are a capable, a worthy human being, chances are that nobody will. You will act on that belief and people will treat you based on what you think about yourself, based on how you treat yourself and based on how you act and behave in the world.
8. Our attitude toward life will determine life’s attitude toward us.
If you think life is unfair, that bad things always happen to you, chances are that life will treat you unfairly, and you will always have many reasons to complain about. On the other hand, if you think life is a gift, a gift for you to enjoy, not to keep, that wonderful things always happen to you, that wonderful people are being drawn to you, life will give you all of those things and even more. Just how there is a law of gravity, there is also a law of attraction, and based on this law, you attract in your life that which you think about all day long, you attract that which you are, because you see, like attracts like.
9. If you love yourself, chances are that others will love you also.
It’s all about self love, it all starts with self love. If you don’t have love for yourself, how can you expect to get it from somebody else? Love yourself and others will love you also.
10. The world has plenty of information but not enough inspiration.
If you think about it, now with the technological revolution, we get access to so much information. Let’s take for example a tiny chip. How much information can you store on it? Isn’t it incredible? We have more information than ever… but when it comes to inspiration (in- spirit) I would say that we have a deficit. We focus too much on the outside and not enough on the inside. We can’t seem to understand that it all starts from within. If the inside is a mess, the outside will also be a mess. Listen to your heart, listen to your intuition and know that: “The only real valuable thing is intuition.” Albert Einstein
11. The world won’t change if you don’t change.
You hear people all the time complaining about how crazy the world is and how they want it to change, but if you tell them to make the first step…: “What? Me? Do you think there is something wrong with me? I am perfect, there is nothing I need to change. These people are crazy and they need to change, not me! They are the ones who are destroying us all, not me… Those bastards!”
You see,the outside world is a reflection of who we all are on the inside, and all this madness that is taking place around us, is a result of our collective consciousness, and unfortunately it’s a very polluted consciousness. It’s not just them, it’s us, us all. If we want the world to change, we have to start with ourselves, and trust me, there is something wrong with many of us. With you, with me, with he and she…
12. Loneliness is different from solitude.
There is a difference between being lonely and being in solitude. When you are in solitude, you take advantage of it to get in touch with you inner self, to meditate and to quiet your mind, and that constant need to be around others in order for you to no longer feel lonely, will disappear. Wayne Dyer talk about this in such a wonderful way, saying that we can never be lonely if we like the person we’re alone with. If you like yourself, if you have no problem with your own person, if you have accepted yourself completely, you will be content with having some quiet time, away from all the noise. You will feel happy when alone and also when surrounded by other people.
13. The more we express our gratitude, the more things we will have to be grateful for.
The law of attraction works in all that is good and also in all that is bad, and it’s only up to us whether we choose to focus our attention on the negative or on the positive. Focus your attention on the many great things you have and you are grateful for, and you will see that the more you do that, the more reasons you will have to express your gratitude for.
14. Patience is a virtue.
In order for things to happen, in order for anything to happen, we need to be patient. We first plant the seed of greatness and then we wait for it to grow, we allow it to grow; we take care of it and we protect it. Great things take time and we need to learn how to give time, time.
15. Courage is not the absence of fear.
Fear, that crazy fear who won’t allow us to move forward, who won’t allow us to grow and transform our lives and of those around us will always be present in our lives. Even though many of us know that fear does not exist and that fear is only in our mind, we choose to be paralyzed by it and we choose to allow it to control our lives, our dreams, our goals and the level of our happiness. Fear will be present whenever you want to stretch, whenever you want to get out of your comfort zone and whenever you want to do more, be more, have more. What we need to do is look beyond it, and always be aware of the fact that most of the things we fear never happen, because FEAR is nothing more than False Expectation Appearing Real.
CHILD ABUSE: choose to see it; choose to be part of the solution!
Order the book: SPIRIT UNBROKEN A Journey of Hope, Survival, and Beating the Odds of Child Abuse.
All proceeds go to Childhood Abuse organizations.
We have been speaking, the past few months, against the atrocities of the defenseless children of so many foreign countries in the Middle East, Africa, et al.
The reality is that in our own country, America, we continue to have our own issues of Child Abuse. Why are we not as focused on this?
Can we cure our own issues of Abuse... in addition to other nations, as well?
Why has this never been included in any United States candidate's platform for political office? It's something we keep choosing to ignore because it is uncomfortable and embarrassing to acknowledge.
Come on America... SPEAK UP!
STAGGERING STATISTICS
Almost 40 million people living in the United States today are survivors of childhood sexual abuse.
Since research has shown that almost 1/3 of people having been sexually abused never disclose this experience to anyone, the actual number of victims must be considerably higher than the given statistics.
Therefore, logically, it’s closer to 60 million survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse in the United States and The District of Columbia, today.
1 in 4 girls are sexually abused before their fourteenth birthday!
1 in 6 boys are sexually abused before their sixteenth birthday!
The median age for reported abuse is nine years old.
90% of all victims know their perpetrators.
Nearly 70% of child sex offenders have more than one victim.
70% of child sex offenders victimize between 1 and 9 children. Almost one quarter of them victimized 10 to 40 victims.
Girl survivors of sexual abuse are three times more likely to develop alcohol and drug abuse or psychiatric problems in adulthood, than girls who have not experienced sexual abuse.
Boy survivors of sexual abuse had a greater than an 80% chance of substance abuse, 50% had suicidal inclinations, and 23% actually attempted to take their own life. 70% received psychological treatment. 31% victimized others!
70-80% of sexual abuse survivors report excessive drug and alcohol abuse.
40% of all childhood sexual survivors suffer long-term effects that require therapy.
Although these statistics are real, they can be changed. The abuse stops with us. We need not pass the dysfunction forward to yet, another generation.
No one gives us self- esteem; we must choose it for ourselves. By succumbing to substance abuse of any kind or abusing others we perpetuate the cycle. We add to the statistics and our abuser(s) are the victors. We can make that healthy and positive choice for ourselves.
*********************************************************************************
GOOGLE: Life Coach Blog Winner 2016, 2017
POSITIVE LIFE BLOG "One of the Best on the Internet" 2017
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